


Something wrong in the village

by Of_all_the_stars



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Bad Parents Jack and Janet Drake, Tim Drake-centric, Trans Character, Trans Tim Drake, Transphobia, it's like two sentences, the transphobia isn't that prominent btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26420371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_all_the_stars/pseuds/Of_all_the_stars
Summary: Tim had never cared much for his hair. Although his parents, and many old ladies, always told him howgorgeoushis hair was, howluckyhe was to have inherited his mother's deep black locks, he found it hard to see.As he grows up, he never feels quite connected with the people around him. This is fine though. This is normal.***Tim slowly finds out things about himself and about the world.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 149





	Something wrong in the village

**Author's Note:**

> I was in A Mood(TM) when I wrote this so I cut a bunch of my own hair off and then thought 'hm, I can project this onto Tim. as a little treat' As a result I somehow wrote this entire thing in only a few hours, which is wild because I haven't really written... anything in like 3 years anymore. 
> 
> Title is from The village by Wrabel because it's a great song and also _maybe_ because I played that song on repeat the entire time while writing this.
> 
> And last but not least a huge thanks to Victoria and Dorian from the discord server who offered to beta, you guys are amazing!

Tim had never cared much for his hair. Although his parents, and many old ladies, always told him how _gorgeous_ his hair was, how _lucky_ he was to have inherited his mother's deep black locks, he found it hard to see. Sure, he supposed it looked nice and it didn’t feel too awful if let loose, but his father always told him he could only wear his hair like that to galas and other formal events, when it had been properly styled, not in other situations, because if he wore it loose it resembled a 'witch's haircut' and he would only look like a _commoner_. One time when he was six he asked his father why only boys could have short hair, because honestly, that seemed so much more convenient. Father didn't like this question though, and told him that was just the way it was supposed to be, girls have long hair and boys short hair. Tim considered this, and well, it seemed to be true. None of the girls he knew had short hair. From then on he told his nanny to just put his hair in a good, tight ponytail, or sometimes a bun. At least this way it wouldn't bother him and get all in the way.

* * *

As he got older Tim felt a little disconnected from the other girls. They seemed to always talk about _hair_ and _clothes_ and _how to look nice_. Just like his mom. Whenever she was preparing for a gala, she would have him brought to her room, so she could keep an eye on how his nanny dressed and prepared him. She would more often than not take hours upon hours working on just her hair. He was never allowed to leave, even if he had been done for ages already. He told himself he didn't mind being dolled up and having to wait so long. His mother barely talked, barely _paid attention_ to him besides these events, so it was worth it. They would talk about his classmates and those who would attend the gala,about who he should make connections with—she never used the word friends—and with whom he absolutely shouldn't. So at school he kept sitting with the rest of his female classmates, even when he would much rather sit with the boys, whose conversations and games always seemed much more interesting. But it was fine, really.

It was.

* * *

Tim was nine now, and had dark, wavy locks that almost reached his waist. His parents were seldom at home anymore, he was a big girl now after all, but if they were there, his mom would always card her fingers through his hair and tell him how much she loved it. His classmates told him how jealous they were a lot. He didn't really get it, hair that long was _really annoying_. Removing all knots from his hair every morning was a pain, both literally and figuratively. He didn't tell anyone though, just smiled and nodded, like he was expected to.

* * *

At school he wasn't the only one with long hair. Camilia, one of the popular girls had even longer, blonde hair. Tim didn't like her. She was always overly dramatic and had, in Tim's opinion at least, a huge victim-complex. The other girls would hang from her lips, that poor little Camilia, she had so much to endure. And if Camilia wasn't telling her sob stories, she would brag about how much her family had accomplished, how great she was and how much love she had for just everyone and anyone, just like the Bible says she should. But as her family was indeed big and powerful, Tim didn't say anything and kept playing nice. He was getting good at that.

One day, when she was being particularly irritating, Tim couldn't stand it anymore. He knew he wasn't supposed to do this, but if he played it right... So, he asked her, as she was such a charitable and generous person, wouldn't it be a great idea to donate her hair? It would really help a child with cancer after all. Camilia did not like that question. She recovered though, and asked him smoothly if _he_ would donate his hair. _Girls aren't supposed to have short hair_ , sounded his father's voice from all those years back immediately in his head. So Tim laughed and told her of course not, he wasn't a _boy_ , and everyone knows only boys have short hair. And although he said it seemingly without hesitation, the voice in his head wasn't so sure. Because... that _wasn't_ true, he knew it wasn't. He was older now, and had seen that girls could in fact have short hair. _I don't want short hair anyway_. He forced himself to stop thinking about it afterwards, afraid of what the voice would say in response.

* * *

A few months later, when his parents aren't home again, the nanny accidentally cuts his hair too short. It only reaches his mid back now. He pretends to be sad, but when he is left alone again he can't stop his smile. His head is so much lighter now! His hair doesn't get stuck between doors anymore! He can't stop touching it, and almost forgets to pretend to be sad when he is called to dinner.

When his parents come home, his mom almost cries. The nanny isn't there anymore the next day, and a new one never comes. He's almost ten now, he doesn't need anyone looking after him anymore. The cook will be enough to keep an eye on him from time to time.

* * *

Tim is ten when he finds out who Batman and Robin really are. He is surprised, as his parents always talk about what a playboy Bruce Wayne is, how Dick Grayson is just a charity case and what Brucie was _thinking_ , really, when he made that decision. Maybe he was drunk again?

Tim never really said anything during these conversations, which he wasn't supposed to hear in the first place anyway, but he can't help to feel like they are talking about a different Bruce Wayne than the one he knows. Because the few times Tim had met Mr. Wayne, he had always been kind to him. He also seems to care a lot about Dick Grayson. Besides, Tim reads the news. Mr. Wayne donates to charity a lot, much more than the average billionaire, and he can’t be doing it just for news coverage, because a large part of his donations aren’t being announced in the first place. So he can't be that bad right, even if he wasn't Batman? And so, for the first time, Tim decides his parents are wrong.

* * *

Despite his groundbreaking discovery, life still goes on. Tim continues to go to school, continues to sit with his boring classmates and lets them admire and mourn his hair, which is already growing back. Everything goes on as normal, until everything gets too much for Tim. A few weeks back his chest began hurting a bit and to his horror he began developing _breasts_. His parents were supposed to come back yesterday, but didn't, and only sent the cook a message they wouldn't be home for another two weeks. And really, he should be used to this by now, but he isn't and it still sucks. Then, at school his hair tie snaps and his hair gets stuck everywhere. On the way home someone calls after him and calls him _girlie_ and Tim hates it. He hates it and he can’t explain _why_ because he _is_ a girl, he was born a girl but it still hurts for some reason, just like his stupid chest. He manages to hold back his tears for the remainder of the way home, but can't take it anymore when he gets home and his reflection in the mirror besides the door _taunts_ him, shows him how _feminine_ he looks. Suddenly overcome with anger, he takes the scissors from his bedroom and starts cutting. _Snip_. The scissors are blunt. It doesn't matter. _Snip_. Long black locks of hair cover the ground now. _Snip_. Tim smiles.

When everything becomes clear again, Tim carefully studies his reflection. His hair is now not much longer than a boy's, although much shaggier. And yeah, he should probably feel regret, and his parents are going to be livid, but he doesn't care about that right now, he just feels so, so happy, happier than he's been in a long time. And despite everything he feels _right_.

* * *

After this ordeal he decides to go back into the city and hit up some random hairdresser in Gotham where he will be just another person, rather than the daughter of the prestigious Jack en Janet Drake, because if he tried to go to school like this the next day he wouldn't even be let in the building. The hairdresser is tired, and doesn't ask questions, just touches up his hair so it looks like something that wasn't done by a ten year old girl with scissors. On the way back he can't stop running his hand through his hair, it feels so strange and different and it's even better than that time his nanny accidentally cut off too much hair. When he is almost home he sees Batman and Robin fly through the sky, and Robin—Jason Todd now, because Dick Grayson moved away and became _Nightwing —_waves at him. Tim waves back and wonders if he thinks Tim is a boy. _I'm still a girl though_ , he reminds himself. _Girls can have short hair too_. He goes to sleep with a smile that night, and doesn't think about his parents again until the next day.

* * *

The fall-out, as predicted, is huge. At school he gets quite a few weird looks, but he pays them no mind. No, things get bad when word somehow reaches his parents. They come back immediately and are the maddest Tim has ever seen them. His mom does cry this time. When they get asked questions by the media they throw together a story that Tim has decided to donate his hair, isn't he such a sweet, attentive _girl_? In public they make sure to smile, but the atmosphere inside the manor is colder than ever. They take away his phone and purposefully ignore him but if Tim is being honest it doesn't make that much of a difference from how it normally is. They leave him again, for Peru this time, and he is almost glad.

* * *

Tim is almost eleven when Bruce Wayne's face is found on every news outlet's first page because he made large donations to several LGBTQ+ organisations. Tim is almost eleven when he learns the term _transgender_. He can't seem to breathe for a moment, because the more he reads about it the more he sees himself. He wants to shout it from the rooftops, to let everyone know that _he isn't a girl, he is a boy! He doesn't have to like hair and make-up and there isn't anything wrong with him! He is a boy!_ It feels amazing to finally have an explanation. He feels giddy for the rest of the day, and then some days after that too.

* * *

When his parents come home again, he tests the waters by asking about Mr. Wayne's donations and casually mentioning a trans person. It's not well received. His father goes on a tangent about how misguided trans people are, how they are liars and predators and ends it with suspiciously and deprecatingly asking _'you're not like that, are you?'_ Tim says no and it hurts, it hurts so much to have to lie but he knows it wouldn't be safe to say yes and so he puts up a practised smile, until he can go back to his room. He does not go to sleep with a smile that night.

* * *

Despite everything, he looks up everything about hormones, new names, pronouns and everything else people online say he needs to know. Because even though his parents wouldn't accept him, it doesn't mean he suddenly isn't transgender anymore, it doesn't mean he isn't a real boy.

His breasts have now really begun to grow and it's absolutely awful. He orders his first binder and when he puts it on, it feels like he can finally breathe again. If anyone notices anything at school, they don't say it to his face, although he knows there are bound to be rumours. He doesn't care.

* * *

The biggest problem Tim has is his name. He can't just keep going by his old name anymore, it's too feminine and every time he’s called _that_ his skin crawls. Deciding he wants another, new one is an easy call, but the real problem is that there's just so many names. Nothing feels quite right and it's a little frustrating if Tim is being honest. He keeps on looking though. 

(It won't be for another few weeks until he pages through the family tree and accidentally finds a name that just clicks in his mind and feels so _right_.)

* * *

Tim is eleven when Bruce Wayne is on the front pages again. This time it isn't because of a scandal, or even another big donation, but because his second son Jason died by the hands of the Joker. Bruce Wayne retreats from the public to grieve.

Batman goes partnerless at the same time. He also becomes much more reckless, more _violent._ He may not kill, but it's often close, too close. There's also whispers. Some say Batman is going to become a villain, going to become more dangerous than Scarecrow, Poison Ivy or even the Joker, and it shakes Tim to the core. Batman would _never_. But that was before Robin, before _Jason_. And Jason is gone now. Batman is alone again. _Batman needs a R_ _obin_.

* * *

A few weeks later, Dick Grayson is in his apartment in Blüdhaven when he hears a knock on the door. He opens it to a young child, who really can't be much older than ten standing there. He doesn’t know any kids though, so there is no reason for one to be one his doorstep right now, or ever really. And he may have been raised in a circus, but you don’t just shut the door on someone that small, so he crouches down and asks ‘Hey kid, are you lost? Do you need help or something?’ only to be met with a sudden ‘I’m a boy’. Dick raises an eyebrow, surprised by the strong reaction. ‘Um, okay. So, buddy..?’ The boy in front of him nods, so he supposes that’s alright and continues. ‘Did you mean to go here? Because I don’t know you and I’d be happy to help you if need be I guess, but yeah, why are you here?’

The frankly too thin and too small boy in front of him runs his fingers through his hair once, takes a deep breath and then looks Dick in the eyes with a fierce determination that startles him.

‘My name is Timothy Jackson Drake and I need you to come back home to Gotham.’

**Author's Note:**

> This is it, and you appparently read the entire thing! So thank you for taking time out of your day to do that, and if you wanna I'd love to hear what you thought of it, but don't feel obligated or anything! 
> 
> Either way I hope you're having a good day, and if not I hope it will get better for you soon.  
> Much love, Delphi


End file.
